Where to buy a monkey beat the plates ?

I want to make a gift, where to buy a monkey beat the plates, as in the movie Eurotrip ?

Where to go to the toilet pets monkey ?

they accustom to human toilet, or have run out?Or maybe they have their " toilet" ?Then what ?

How much is a monkey?

For how much you can buy an adult monkey in Moscow?

What will happen with the load hanging on the rope when it climb on the monkey ?

This problem came up with Lewis Carroll .Monkey begins to climb the free end of the block thrown through the weightless rope to the other end of which is attached load, exactly equal to the weight of a monkey.Whether the goods go up, go down or stay in place?Friction neglected.